Meredith is a contributing writer here at The Peaceful Nest! She openly shares her son Isaiah’s story in hopes to be an encouragement and offer relatability to other bereaved families. I am honored to share her words and was moved by Isaiah’s story. Read More about her and Isaiah below!
My name is Meredith.
I am 28 years old and have lived in Tennessee my whole life. I met my husband when we were both 23. I have my Bachelors in Business and Marketing. I’m currently enrolling to obtain my MBO through Trevecca Nazarene University. I am the youngest of four children. My parents married in July of 1971. All three of their children were born in the 70’s and then I came along as a surprise in 1990!
My husband and I found out we were expecting our second baby in November of 2017.
At our 20 week appointment we found out second baby would be a boy. My husband knew all along that his name would be Isaiah. My pregnancy was honestly wonderful. I was being treated as “high risk” due to having a gene mutation with MTHFR. I learned I had this during my first pregnancy. I was having twice weekly monitoring once I hit week 28 in our pregnancy. I had NST’s on Mondays and BPP’s on Thursdays.
On June 18, 2018 I had an NST. It was perfect. There was no indication of a problem. On Tuesday June19, 2018 Ezekiel (our first born) and I went out to my parents house for a swim. Isaiah moved excellent all day. I noticed he had developed hiccups that night while I was laying in bed, but he had hiccups most everyday and I was actually told I could count those as fetal movement. On Wednesday, June 20, 2018, which also happened to be our wedding anniversary, our baby boy passed away in Utero. I didn’t know he had passed away until I realized I hadn’t felt him move after eating breakfast. I went and laid on my left side in our bed while drinking loads of Welch’s juice. This always made him dance.
A few hours passed and still no movement. My husband though I may have had anxiety and wasn’t relaxing enough.
We both decided we would continue on with our anniversary plans and head to O’Charley’s. My parents had offered to watch Zek (we call Ezekiel “Zek”) while we went and enjoyed what could potentially be the last meal with the three of us (My husband, Isaiah and I). It was just that- but we had no clue at the time. Honestly, subconsciously I knew. Once we got home that night from picking Zek up, I went into the shower. I threw a fit screaming and crying and begging God to let me feel any movement just to know he was ok. I felt nothing.
Around 3:30 a.m. on Thursday morning, June 21, 2018, I texted my mom because I still hadn’t felt him move.
We both knew something was terribly wrong. I had my husband stay with Zek so he could sleep while my mom and I drove about forty-five minutes away to the nearest town where my doctors office was along with the hospital I was set to deliver at.
Mom picked me up, I had my Welch’s juice in hand, and she started questioning me about movement. I told her not to talk because it was giving me anxiety and I knew an anxiety attack was on the horizon. All family was holding out hope that I would get there, they would find his heartbeat and monitor me or possibly deliver if something was wrong and he was in distress.
We get there and I walk through the L&D doors. They ask why I’m there and I told them for decreased fetal movement.
They usher me back to the registration lady so she can get my information. While standing there with her, tears streaming down my face, she tells me to think positively. That’s hard to do when you have your motherly instinct kicking in and telling you SOMETHING is wrong.
They get me into a triage room, attempt to find his precious heartbeat and…. silent. Nothing. The nurse remained calm, although I was screaming “He’s gone Mom. He’s gone!” She went to get the doctor and the ultrasound machine. Again, nothing. The doctor looked at me with a dreadful face, “I’m so sorry, we can’t find a heartbeat.” To explain the panic, the shock, all of it, can never be accomplished. I can’t describe the immediate pain, shock, madness, literally all of it, that I felt in that very instance.
What I can attempt to describe was the presence of God I felt.
He was there. Although I was in such shock, I could truly feel him. My mom and I made the phone calls, which left family leaving their house in a madness of sorts driving to the hospital. My in-laws lived in Knoxville, TN at the time. They made it to the hospital in two hours, where it should have taken them almost 3.5 hours.
Our precious Isaiah Wayne Montgomery was born at 10:32 a.m. via cesarean.
He weighed 7lbs. 4oz. and was 19.5 in. long. He was true perfection. He looked like his big brother and daddy so much. He also resembled my mom.
We laid him to rest on June 26, 2018. I was able to dress Isaiah at the funeral home, and we spent nearly eight hours holding him and loving him. He was so wanted. I hope he knows just how much he was wanted. My husband, father-in-law, and dad laid his dirt on top of his sweet, forever bed. They made sure no trash was in the dirt and they did this so gently. My husband wrote his Eulogy and read it aloud at his graveside. We didn’t have a public funeral. I learned during Isaiah’s Eulogy why he was named Isaiah.
His name was influenced by a verse out of Isaiah.
Isaiah 40:31 “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
We are coming upon eight months without our baby. He has spent (almost) eight months in Heaven. Life is hard these days, but we also see Isaiah in so much. I have always had a tendency to write and share my feelings, but since loosing Isaiah I can say that I have moments when my heart is so heavy to write that it will bust if I don’t oblige. As a writer I strive to connect with my audience. I want to be sure I include enough detail, almost to help them envision their self in the moment I’m describing. I pray that as writer I touch those who can relate, and those who can’t. I pray that my faith is always present and that the reader can see how much love I have for our Lord.
To read more from Meredith visit her blog Cottage on 98.